#adulting

"That simple motto gave me courage. But now if I could change that motto, it would read: 'In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things.'" —Elaine S. Dalton

A post shared by Mormon Channel (@mormonchannel) on Jul 18, 2017 at 8:59am PDT

Today, I ran across this quote on instagram. I really do believe that Heavenly Father is in the details of our lives... and this was such a little detail that I knew it had to have come from God.

For these past few weeks I have been trying to decide what to do with my future. Up until a month ago, I had everything planned to do student teaching in the fall and then I would graduate in December. While I have been doing my practicum (pre-student teaching), my professors approached me and asked me to consider doing an internship instead of student teaching.

The biggest difference between student teaching and an internship is the support you receive. With student teaching, you enter into another teachers classroom and are scaffolded in (you observe first, then slowly start teaching classes), you also only do it for a semester. With an internship, you jump into your first year of teaching. YOU are the teacher!! You are contracted with the district and the school and you are expected to know your stuff. It's also a full school year instead of just a semester. Also, then I would graduate in April instead of December. You have a mentor and there is a certain level of support that your mentor will offer you as you learn the ropes, but you're it!

So basically, interning is WAY scarier! For the last 2 weeks I have gone back and forth and back and forth, I have cried, and felt good, and thought NO WAY, and thought for sure! And it seemed like my mind changed every hour. (ask my husband) I cried thinking about doing it, and I cried thinking about not doing it, because i know it's going to be SO. FREAKING. HARD.

And so when i saw this today on my Instagram, it really made me realize that, I CAN DO HARD THINGS! And just like sister Dalton said, "In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things."



Soooo..... with all that being said, today I made the call to Provo Peaks Elementary School and accepted a position as a Mild/Moderate Special Ed. Intern for the 2017-2018 school year!

I'm super excited! Also terrified out of my mind...

#prayforme #firstadultjob #adultingtothemax

eeeeeeeeeek.

Current Events

It's hard to believe that it is already June! I feel like as I have gotten older, time continues to slip away faster and faster. I wanted to update those of you who actually read this to the goings on of our little family.

I am currently in school full time and working part time. It's been a struggle knowing that I am going to have to be enrolled in full time school for the whole summer... I don't think you ever grow out of missing summer vacation. #adulting It's not in vain though, because I do my student teaching in August and I then graduate in December!! (Hip-Hip Hooray!) I can't believe that I am *finally* graduating. I feel like I've been in school forever... and no, I won't be applying to grad schools anytime soon. 

Silas got accepted to Grad School!!! I already made an Instagram post about this, but I'm so excited! These past two semesters of school for Silas have not come easy. But on top of working part time, Silas has worked tirelessly completing group assignments, studying for tests, preparing case presentations, etc. The amount of dedication and diligence that he has put into his school has astounded me and I am so glad that he has seen the fruits of his labors. I'm so proud of his hard work and know that he has so much to look forward to in the not too distant future! 

I won the "Most Obsessed with Her Husband" at my work... and now you know why. #clingywife #whyyousoobsessedwithme?

We also recently returned from a quick trip to New Zealand. My In-Laws invited us to come with them and so we went! It was incredible! *Pictures available on Instagram*

We drove all the way up and down the North Island, and saw many rolling green hills and a lot of sheep. We also visited a black sand beach, and Hobbiton (of course). It was super neat! But, God Bless America! You know?

So, that's pretty much it for us these days! Just a whole lot of school and work. We lead exciting lives. But honestly though, while I generally am complaining about something little. I truly do feel blessed to be where I am. I have an awesome husband who works super hard, awesome family who supports us when we need it most, and great friends who keep us laughing and sane.

My Fear of Rejection

Rejection is probably something that scares me the most. I have always been a people pleaser, ever since I can remember. I have memories when I was in Kindergarten of getting in trouble and having to sit in the corner during reading time. All I wanted was to not be in trouble. I just wanted my teacher to like me. 

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't though. I mean don't get me wrong, I love to make people laugh, and I love to feel important and special and loved... but it's my Kryptonite. I can't tell you how upset it makes me when someone is upset with me, or I am criticized in an unkind way. It's awful. I feel like I am the worst person in the world and all I can think is... "of course they hate (insert idea here), it's terrible for (insert whatever reason here).  On top of that, I often get angry and defensive, and I don't like that side of myself. 

Okay.. why I am telling you this. Sorry, I'll get to the point.

How do I overcome that side of myself? I'm probably going to have children who dislike something that i do and make sure that i know about it. When I am a teacher, I most definitely am going to have parents who disagree with decisions that I make and are openly vocal about it. 

So, how do I let things go? How do I love myself enough to ignore the opinions of others, and only be concerned of the opinion of God? How do I take the words and opinions that others offer me with grace and understanding, but love and respect myself enough to realize that is all they are, words and opinions.

I feel like it's a work in progress, I'm a work in progress. But any words of advice would be greatly appreciated and wonderfully received.

Thanks for listening... or rather, reading.