The Bigger Picture

I feel like I've always been pretty good at understanding the concept that God has a plan. There are things that happen... or don't happen. And I get it. God see's the bigger picture...

But sometimes, I don't want to get it! Sometimes I just want to be mad, and upset and sad. Because things don't make sense to me. Because sometimes I just want things to work the way that I want them to! Because I can't see the bigger picture. And in my little picture, Utah looks pretty good right now...

But Idaho is where I am supposed to be... and I do know that God has a plan for me. And things have a way of working themselves out.

So I will continue to trust my Heavenly Father, because he hasn't led me astray yet. And everytime I do something that He asks me to do, things just seem to fall into place.  And this time is no different than the rest.  God knows me, and he knows what i need. He's got something good planned, and all I have to do is trust him... Dang it.

RM Status...

So... remember that one time I served a mission? I say that a lot these days. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that I am a returned missionary. Like, guys... I served a mission.

Actually the hardest part about it all is realizing that I'm not a missionary any longer. No one told me that it was going to be this hard to adjust back to normal life. I guess it's kind of similar to how nobody told me how hard a mission would be either... I guess people expect you to figure things out on your own. But anyways...

I knew I would have to acclimate to being home, but it's been the weirdest things that have been hard! It's stuff like When people call me Jacqueline and not Sister Bauer. I still feel like I am sinning when people I don't know call me by my first name. My first reaction is like, "Woah! You can't call me that!" But then I'm like, "Yeah, actually you can call me that... because that's my name..."

The point is, I miss my mission. I miss it a whole lot! I miss waking up in the morning, getting ready, looking in the mirror and tapping my name tag; knowing that I have a purpose and God trusts me with that purpose. I miss talking to everyone and helping them see how incredible the restored gospel is and how it can bless their life. I miss walking/riding my bike down the street and people knowing exactly who I am and what I do! I miss President and Sister Tew, and the missionaries there. I miss the people I taught and the members of the wards there. I miss the weather, and the familiar streets! I miss it.

But, God is good. And we are not meant to be on missions forever, nor should we be because if we were we would go insane!!! And There are definitely things I look forward to about being home. Things like going back to school, and going on dates, and being free to do what I want when I want!

So I will look forward with faith, and use the things I learned on my mission to keep me on track! 

All while getting to have the awesome title of Returned Missionary!